h2o kickoff

Our kickoff went great last night. About 180 people showed up to check it out. I enjoyed several conversations afterward with new freshmen. The band worked so hard for several weeks leading up to the event. It was rewarding to see the hard work pay off as we played the songs well and played our role in the theme of the whole night. I love what I do. I am surrounded by incredible people who love God and who work with such diligence to see His name reach this campus. Sometimes I wish this would never change.

not interested in church

passing out water bottles while the freshmen move in

In college ministry, we call this "blitz week." It is the first week of classes here at Bowling Green State University. It is the week when 3500 freshman make some important decisions that could shape their entire college experience. It is the week that we like to be as well-known as possible.

I was sitting in the student union this morning talking with anyone interested in our church on campus called h2o. As I was talking with one particular girl who was filling her arms with free stuff from our table (pens, cups, cd's, etc.), I asked her if she had ever heard of h2o. She proudly said yes and continued selecting from our free promotional material. I then asked her if she had ever been to our church that meets here in the union. She immediately put the freebies down and said, "h2o is a church? Oh, I don't like churches. No offense, I just have a real problem with people who go to church." I assured her that I wasn't offended and told her that she could still take the free stuff. I asked her to consider coming sometime to see if this church might be a little different than whatever church had given her a bad impression. She nodded and quickly walked away.

I guess that about sums up the typical college student these days. I am definitely in the right place.

crying

I noticed today how difficult it really is for me to cry. Men are often stereotyped as unemotional beings. I'm not sure if it's something in our DNA or simply the unfortunate and traditional idea that men are supposed to represent strength, and strength doesn't cry. Today, I discovered that I must first make the conscious decision to cry, or the tears never have a chance. I attended a conference on church leadership (telecasted to over 54,000 leaders around the world). During one of the sessions, images of human depravity and starvation were boldly projected on the screen. These images were incredibly powerful, and I was deeply disturbed at the thought of world hunger. And I found that this is the way the emotional process works for me: First, I acknowledge, on an intellectual level, that the subject I am seeing is an emotional matter. Second, I allow myself to bypass intellect temporarily to see if emotion is present within me. Third, my intellect returns and I make the decision of whether or not to allow the emotion within me to take physical form. Fourth, I cry.

It's very easy for me to complete the first two steps -- to recognize the emotional nature of something and to feel it stir within me. But, for some reason, the third step can be incredibly difficult. Without realizing it, I often decide not to allow emotion to pour out from within my heart. It is very comfortable to seal it up within me. Others won't notice me. I won't risk embarrassment. But I don't want that. I believe that strength and emotion are not at odds. Today, I made the decision to let it come out. It felt freeing and right.

jail time. . .

Lindsay and I spent some time in prison this weekend. We visited the historic Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield. It's hard to believe that I lived in Mansfield for almost 20 years and never visited this fascinating place. We took the "Hollywood" tour with my parents in which the guide pointed out key rooms from the prison where the movie "The Shawshank Redemption" was filmed (one of my favorite movies of all time).

Over 110 years old, the reformatory is a complete mess on the inside. In the late 1800's, the architects and engineers decided to place drainage pipes throughout the inside of the building (to help preserve the castle theme on the outside). These pipes were made of iron and would often rust away. Without proper maintenance for almost 20 years, the inside of this building has been flooded and worn away by humidity and freezing. Dedicated volunteers saved the main part of the building from being torn down and are spending many hours trying to restore as much as possible. These same volunteers give the tours and recount many stories about inmates and prison life.

On our way home, Lindsay and I talked about what prison life must have been like. The cells were so small. Solitary confinement was equal to a month in complete darkness. Boredom and despair must have been common feelings in this place. What person deserves this type of treatment? Of course, I understand and appreciate the need for prisons in our judicial system, but I can't imagine spending just one day locked up. It makes sense for those notorious men who steal, rape, and murder without remorse. But, it seems so harsh for the man who makes one mistake. The volunteers told the story of a man who shot his father to stop him from beating his mother. This man spent 3 years in the Mansfield prison. In this case, the punishment seems so much more severe than the crime. Yet a less remorseful man would receive the same jail time. Justice is so hard to understand sometimes.

The room and desk where the warden shot himself in "The Shawshank Redemption."

accomplishments. . .

Let my goal in life (or in each day) never be to accomplish as much as possible.

As I sit in my weekly extended time with God, I am tempted to think about all that I need to do today and how I could get ahead if I had just a little extra time. I am tempted to leave this place and begin accomplishing tasks.

Yet, accomplishing great things, even for God, is not the best way. Mary and Martha taught us this in Luke 10. Martha busied herself with good things -- the accomplishment of making Jesus feel welcome in her home while Mary simply sat at Jesus' feet listening. Jesus told them that Mary had chosen the best thing to do. It is best to sit in the presence of Jesus -- to converse with him, to listen, to learn, to confess and be honest, to be healed, to understand, to be heard, to show affection and emotion, at times to be overwhelmed with reality -- physically falling before him, to break, to be comforted, to be empowered, to hear truth, to find strength, to be fed, to be pursued, to hear correction, to rest, to worship.

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better." Ephesians 1:17

To know Him better -- how much greater is this than to accomplish more for Him. This seems especially difficult for those of us in full-time vocational ministry to understand.

in the morning. . .

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3

I love waking up before the rest of the world -- seeing the sunrise and accomplishing more before 8am than the rest of the world does by noon. I love being with the Lord early in the morning. Not that it's more spiritual or that He rewards my discipline any more than others; I just love the solitude and the feeling of being different. It lays the foundation for the rest of my day.

But lately I can't wake up. I'm not going to bed later or sleeping uneasy. I've just lost the motivation to be awake in the morning. I know there's something deeper at work here -- perhaps a sort of battle to fight. Lord prepare me for battle in the morning.