The Past . . .

Sometimes the mysteries of the past are revealed. Sometimes we get just a little more of the picture as we grow older. Have you ever received information that you find to be a missing puzzle piece – as if you’ve had a partially completed puzzle sitting on your coffee table for 15 years? My puzzle is a picture of spiritual upbringing. It is the first 5 years of my life as a Christian in one snapshot. The first 5 years of the Christian life seem to parallel the early years of a human life. It is an impressionable time – a time of critical growth. Good parenting is extremely important during this time as many basic life skills are learned and practiced.

I was given a piece of that puzzle last night. This piece was so critical that, once in place, it reveals part of the snapshot that was unrecognizable before. More of the puzzle seems to make sense now. I hate the piece I received. I hate the news I was given. The feelings are so new that it is difficult not to hate the entire puzzle – just because of this one piece.

Yet, I am an adult today. The puzzle is only a snapshot of the past. Although the past leaves imprints on the present and the future, it is over with. New knowledge doesn’t change who I am as an adult. It may help me to recognize some of the identifiable scars, but it cannot continue to wound. In fact, new knowledge can even give me a clearer picture of God’s power, goodness, protection, provision, and of His ability to develop me into a mature adult despite the past.

Of course, the puzzle is still not complete. Many pieces are yet to be found. In some ways, this new piece even brings more confusion on other parts of the snapshot. But, I believe God reveals these pieces, in time, to give us the view of the snapshot that we need right now. It is my puzzle – my story. As ugly as it may become with each new puzzle piece, I will embrace it, own it, and learn from it.

more faith. . .

A friend of ours told us a story this week of faith and God's provision. The story gave me a sense of amazement with God's power and with His intimate involvement in the lives of His children. But, I also should confess a hint of jealousy and insecurity.

Our friend found out that she was required to have health insurance for an extended mission trip she will be taking in less than 2 weeks. While God had provided the necessary funds to pay for the trip, no money was left to pay for the new insurance need. Our friend began to wonder if she might not be able to participate in the trip. Shortly after discovering the new need, she was praying at work when a name came to her mind. The name was of an elderly woman at her church. Our friend felt as if God was telling her to pray that this woman would pay for the insurance needed for her trip. Later that evening when the friend got home from work, her brother ran to the door to give her the good news that the woman had called earlier and felt that God was leading her to help financially with the exact amount required for the insurance. The entire need was taken care of. She prayed a very specific prayer, and God answered. *if the friend is reading this, please feel free to correct any inaccuracies in your story.

You may doubt the validity of this story. My mind definitely goes there first. But I believe our friend - I've seen God do some amazing things in her life. Yet, why do some people see God in this way and others do not? I'm still gathering my thoughts on this subject. I hope to write more about it soon.

If you're reading this and you have a similar story (of your own or someone you know) please post a comment. I'd love to hear a few more.

faith. . .

For almost 15 years now I've had a very basic understanding of faith - at least as Paul uses the word in Romans 5:1, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." I know that it is only through faith in Jesus, and not through our own efforts or actions, that we can be restored into a right relationship with God. I've read the scripture, heard teachings, and even given teachings on this type of faith.

But, what it does it mean to have specific faith for something - something completely independent of our right standing with God? I've heard people make bold claims that they have faith in God for a very specific thing. They may say, "I am believing God for the healing of my grandmother" or "I have faith that God will provide the exact amount of money we need right now." I still have much to learn about this sort of faith. Jesus told his disciples that their faith could move mountains, and that ". . . if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." But, what does God's eternal plan have to do with my personal belief?

It's not that I doubt God's capabilities. In fact, I've seen Him do small miracles when I was least expecting it. His omnipotence is not an issue for me. My question arises more along the lines of His desire. It's much easier for me to say, "I believe God can heal my grandmother" rather than "I believe God will heal my grandmother." The difference between these two statements is colossal. At what point can we claim that we have faith not only in God's capabilities, but also in our understanding of His desires. As we grow closer and closer to the heart of God and the "deep things of God" we gain a better understanding of His will. We can learn more of His ways and understand more of His heart for us, but do we ever get so close that we know His next move?

What does it mean to have a faith goal - to ask for something enormous and expect that God will provide? What a vulnerable place to be. What if you expect it with all of your heart and He chooses not to provide it? How safe should we allow ourselves to be with God? Praying to God in faith is certainly not a formula for receiving what we want. Ultimately, we must somehow pray for what God wants.

"A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy." Matthew 8:2-3

The rabbit never saw it coming. . .

innocent bunny


My wife hit a poor, defenseless rabbit (I think it may have been a baby) this weekend. We were driving home from her parents in the middle of a deep conversation when I saw the little guy dart out into the road. There were no squealing tires or swerving, just a quick and distinct "thump-thump". I looked up from the road at Lindsay expecting her to be a wreck of emotion at the thought of ending the life of a small, cute animal. Not only was she unrepentant, but she told me that ". . . there are too many of those little animals running around. We should kill them more often." After only 1 year of marriage, I am still getting to know my wife. I love her more and more as the days go by.

Disc Golf is life. . .

hole 6 at Carter Park

Bowling Green's disc golf course is right outside the back door of my apartment. In fact, my balcony overlooks a portion of the course (except for the large tree blocking most of the view). With my sliding door open I can periodically hear the sound of a disc hitting the chains signifying a hole completed for some happy (or unhappy) disc-golfer. Sometimes a yell of excitement or a bellow of disappointment follows immediately after the sound of the chains - depending on whether the golfer's disc hit the chains and then rested in the basket or hit the chains and fumbled out of the basket.

I truly love this game. I used to love it simply for the fun times I had with friends while walking the course and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. I still love those things, but now I also enjoy going out by myself. I used to avoid playing solo-thinking it to be a waste of my time, but now I draw refreshment from these times out alone. My mind rarely thinks about anything else while I am on the course. I'm usually keeping track of my score in my head and planning the strategy of my next throw. I enjoy the break from having to think about anything significant. Everyone should consider finding an activity that allows this to happen.

Today was a little different, though. I shot a 6 under par for the front 9 holes (not a bad score, but certainly no record for me). My drives were fine, but I missed several close shots. I discovered that I become very timid when I'm throwing the disc from a range just outside of my comfort level. My chip shots come up short almost 100% of the time. I made the decision to go for every shot within my range. I promised myself I would not miss short of the basket - I would only miss long if I missed at all. This change in strategy did wonders for the back 9 holes. I made some extremely difficult shots and ended up with a score of minus 10 (on the back 9, it is tougher to shoot under par). For the first time ever, I thought about the parallels of disc golf and life. How often am I close to the goal but still outside of my comfort level? Do I allow myself to come up short - simply "laying it up" rather than going for the prize? I think my timidity in disc golf is similar to my timidity in life. Maybe I'll change my strategy. Maybe I'll be more aggressive - having confidence in my ability (and the gifts God has given me) and being more bold about the shots I take.

My first post ever. . .

I have no idea who would ever read this blog - a few close friends I suppose, but my own mother doesn't even know how to access the Internet. No matter who you are, you should know something about me: I'm the sort of guy who makes up his mind to start a blog but waits several days to write his first entry. My personality worries about this first one. It just feels like it should be a good one - perhaps life-changing or profoundly deep. I had to force myself to get online today and type something in. So I'm hoping that now the pressure will be off. My hope is to provide myself with a canvas for compiling my thoughts. After 28 years, I've noticed that life can go by so fast. I may read many different ideas and talk with many people, but if I don't compile my thoughts, they seem to get lost. I hope for this blog to be just one forum for me to do that compiling. Of course it only works if I use it, so here's my first attempt.

And, just as my day is filled with interaction, I welcome any comments, questions, and feedback from anyone who would happen to read something here.