response. . .

There seems to be a common response when people, who are prepared in some way, see the real Jesus. The people I'm thinking of specifically are from the Old Testament - Daniel, and from the New Testament - Peter and John. Their response seems to include a sense of being overwhelmed in some way to the point of physically falling at the first sight of Jesus. Where does this response come from? There were thousands of people who had contact with Jesus -- some even traveled with him daily. Yet we only read of a few key people who were moved enough by their encounter to have this response. I would guess that the response comes from a combination of elements being present at the same time. For instance, Daniel 10, Luke 5, and Revelation 1 tell us that Daniel constantly lived in extreme obedience to God and that he had fasted for 3 weeks prior to the encounter; Peter did what Jesus said even though he was tired and doubtful; John was obeying God and was close to His Spirit. The first element present in this response was that of close obedience to God. Each man had a willing heart -- there were no distractions of selfish profit or of personal comfort. Their hearts were ready to see the real Jesus (or to see him differently than the thousands of others who encountered him).

I'm sure there may have been several other elements present to produce this physical response to the sight of Christ -- perhaps Jesus' willingness to unveil this sight or the overall purpose of the encounter in God's work (he showed himself in this way to Daniel in order to prepare him for the news he was about to receive). Further study may help to uncover more of this process (and maybe even other people in the Bible who experienced something similar), but we may never fully understand what triggers this overwhelming response.

I believe that this response can still take place today. Jesus may not be walking on earth in physical form (nor was he with Daniel or John in Revelation), but we certainly have encounters with him. Perhaps the only time I can remember responding to him in this way was about 2 years ago. I was spending 5 days alone in the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains. After 3 days of fasting I was growing very tired of the whole experience. I couldn't think of anything else to pray about or to read about. It felt as if my mind didn't even know what its next thought should be. As I sat by the bank of a small river, I asked God to use this experience to take me to a new place with Him. His answer came in the form of thought. I thought about my life -- particularly my past. It was as if all of my mistakes and sins were before me. I felt like I could remember each one with explicit detail. It was painful to think and "live" through these mistakes again, and it seemed to go on for hours. At first I didn't like God's answer to my prayer. But that's when the encounter came. Just after seeing those grotesque sights, I saw my life today. My encounter with the real Jesus was not a physical image or conversation, but I encountered his actions and his love. There in the mountains, I was brought face to face with the healing power of Jesus Christ. I was overwhelmed with the realization of who I am in comparison to a holy God. I wept for at least an hour -- not just tears, but true weeping. In a sense, I physically fell before God as a response to this encounter.

I don't think this sort of thing can happen very often, but when it does, you can't help but be changed forever. Thank you, Jesus.

o give me a home. . .

I visited Buffalo, NY this past Monday and Tuesday with some friends. We were scoping out possible sites for a GCM church plant. The hope is to find another campus that has a need for something similar to h2o at Bowling Green. Buffalo was just one of the 6 or 7 Universities that we've visited so far this summer. The road trip was a blast with these friends, but it confirmed 2 conflicting facts:
1. There is certainly a need for our ministry on the campus.
2. None of us want to live in Buffalo :(

So I've been asking myself lately what a calling might look like to a specific place. How much do I weigh the different factors of a place? The need is certainly important, but so is desire. I don't think God wants us to look at dozens of campuses and solely choose one based on "statistical analysis" - the best logistical option. I believe He will give us a heart and a vision for a specific place based on many different factors - perhaps only a few of them are statistical. One thing is sure; I want to have a heart for a specific people; I want to be overwhelmingly drawn to a place - a place where I know that being obedient to God means going. I am patiently waiting for this place.

so many weddings!

I participated in my fourth wedding of this month yesterday (we have one more next weekend). This comes with the territory in college ministry. Each one is unique and demonstrates love in a different way. Yesterday I sat in the very front -- in front of all of the pews and in front of the pastor and couple getting married. I sat by the organ when I wasn't playing guitar or singing. This seat gave me a view of the couple like I've never had while participating in a wedding before. I could see their every gesture. I've known this couple for about four years now. They've been very involved in our church and traveled with me on mission trips to Amsterdam. I was moved to see their love for each other as I sat in the front of their wedding. Matt cried for joy at the realization of God's gift to him through Kim. A bride is such a precious gift. I am grateful for the reminder of God's provision and of the joy that comes from being obedient to Him.

Safety. . .

I asked God for something big yesterday -- to reveal Himself on a large-scale level. I felt the need for reassurance of His presence and purpose in the difficulties of life.

His answer was less than fascinating. I've already explored in my mind how His "small" answer could eventually be large-scale. I've wondered if perhaps He will turn the small answer into a solution to the big request I made. Either way, He answered.

A part of me feels something instinctively wrong with testing God by asking for something big and then evaluating His performance. For this reason, I am not discouraged by His answer. I never meant to test God. I firmly believe that He is the One who decides how and when to answer my prayers. But, I wonder if my views should be different. Should my prayers be for more specific, measurable results -- requests that clearly require either a positive or negative answer, leaving no room for middle ground? I pray in a very safe way -- a way that allows for God's will and for His creativity in answering. This way is the most comfortable, and it seems to match my understanding of God. But, what if He is not asking me to be safe? And how does all of this affect my view of God? That seems to be the true question of safety -- how it could change my view (or the view of those around me) about God. A safe prayer allows enough room that my view of God really cannot be negatively affected. An unsafe prayer, as it seems, must have the potential to negatively or positively affect my view of God. Why would I want to take this risk?

I've thought of King David and the many men who fought battles with him against the enemies of Israel. Oftentimes extremely out-numbered, they would pray for victory. This is certainly an unsafe prayer request. The answer required the supernatural, or these men would have surely died.

I welcome any other scripture references and/or comments to discuss these questions.

True Worship. . .

Daniel has become one of my favorite people in the Bible. Not only did he rise to the top of a government that took his country captive, but he did it by being stubborn -- by not obeying the government but trusting God instead. Daniel never gives in. His determination to follow God in the midst of the worst possible situation is so motivating to me.

I understand Daniel's determination just a little bit more when I read what happened to him in Daniel 10. After spending 3 weeks in constant prayer, he sees the preincarnate Jesus standing before him. At the sight of God, Daniel says ". . . I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground." Daniel fainted when confronted with the experience of being in the presence of Jesus! An angel then comes to comfort him and bring him to his feet so he can hear all that God wants to say.

Sometimes I hear of people fainting because of an overwhelming fear, but I've also heard of runners in a race fainting at the finish line because they've given more than their bodies were able. This is the way I like to think of Daniel fainting before Jesus. He had spent so much time and discipline in prayer that when Jesus appeared, he had nothing left to give. The emotion, awe, joy, and beauty became unbearable for Daniel. This is how he viewed God. This is what motivated his determination to always follow Him. I long for this view of God.

My desert. . .

It is a fearful feeling to be alone in the desert.

All of us are led to the desert at various stages of life for some specific reason; for it is in the seclusion of the desert that we can see the sun more clearly. In fact, the desert sun can often be all we see while we're there. It can be so hot and blinding that it's difficult to think about anything else. In a crowded and busy life I may actually prefer traveling through the desert over traveling the city streets. Yet, walking is more difficult -- each step may be painful and hot, but it is a time of focus and concentration. There is nothing out there to pull our attention or grab our eyes. Each grain of sand looks the same. The road ahead is no different from the road just passed. Destination and navigation are usually impossible and become unnecessary. There is only the sun and its heat -- sometimes painfully hot and sometimes a comforting and warming light, but somehow the intensity of the sun is mysteriously related to the reason for being in the desert.

But what if the sun was gone? Or, what if something was blocking the sun. In our blindness we may not even know we are in the desert. The painful heat would be gone, but so would the concentration and comfort of a constant light. We would not know the reason for being there nor would we know that a reason needs to exist at all. We may either be confused -- wandering and searching for light, or we would be oblivious -- unaware that the intensity of the sun should be present here. In this state we would be alone -- still possessing the reasons for being in the desert, but only being hurt by them without understanding and without focus. The desert is a fearful place, but how much more fearful if we don't even realize we are there!

Anniversary

Lindsay and I celebrated our first anniversary this weekend in the Great Smoky Mountains. We were already planning a trip to Atlanta to participate in a wedding, so we decided to take an extra day on the return trip to enjoy the occasion. We hiked a small portion of the Appalachian Trail and then stayed at a bed and breakfast in the foothills (at the excellent recommendation of a close friend).

I wish I could say that with my vast experience in outdoorsmanship and backpacking (actually only about 5 trips) that we hiked into the backcountry of the Smokies, put up a tent, unrolled our sleeping bags, raised our food in a tree to keep it away from bears, and slept in the woods. But, we decided instead to spoil ourselves with the comforts of a beautiful Inn on a lake. The home-cooked breakfast was phenomenal! Maybe next year we'll cook our meals by campfire and sleep with the trees, bears, and thru-hikers of the A.T., but I was glad we wimped out this year.

Lindsay and I on the Appalachian Trail