Approval

"It is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends." 2 Corinthians 10:18

I've been dealing with some deep issues lately - issues that affect who I am and how I can minister to others. These issues deal with approval, but not approval from the sense of acceptance or likeability. The issues I'm referring to involve approval as it relates to identity. I'm learning that a part of my identity should have been confirmed years ago. Yet, where I lack confirmation, I find approval from the heavenly Father. I'm still learning about this stuff, and I have been surprised by the amount of emotion stirred by it.

The Sexy Carrots

A friend of mine recently gave me the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. The subtitle for Chapter six is "The Sexy Carrots", in which Miller expresses some creative thought on the desires in life that we think we want so badly but lead only to death. It really is a cool chapter.

On a side note, Miller speaks of his very first experiences of Christianity by saying, "Nothing in my life was mundane. After I became a Christian, every aspect of human interaction had a fascinating appeal, and the intricate complexity of the natural landscape was remarkable in its perfection . . ." But, Miller goes on to admit that joy fades, and happiness is temporal. Soon the romantic feelings of Christianity began to wear off like a new couple just passing through the "feeling" stages of love.

Miller is honest about his confusion at this stage in his new life, and I can relate. I have been a Christian now for almost 15 years. My romantic feelings with the Creator have come and gone and then come back around again. Although the feelings ebb and flow, my commitment is always to Him. In the low times I have not looked back or turned away. And it is a "low time" that I am feeling right now. My commitment and my relationships keep me focused and safe during these times, but I hate staying here for long. Right now, my outlook on God is based on personal discipline rather than grace or power. Yet, I stay committed and wait.

Jesus, bring me face to face with You. And let me leave the encounter incapable of complacency and mediocrity.