faith. . .

For almost 15 years now I've had a very basic understanding of faith - at least as Paul uses the word in Romans 5:1, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." I know that it is only through faith in Jesus, and not through our own efforts or actions, that we can be restored into a right relationship with God. I've read the scripture, heard teachings, and even given teachings on this type of faith.

But, what it does it mean to have specific faith for something - something completely independent of our right standing with God? I've heard people make bold claims that they have faith in God for a very specific thing. They may say, "I am believing God for the healing of my grandmother" or "I have faith that God will provide the exact amount of money we need right now." I still have much to learn about this sort of faith. Jesus told his disciples that their faith could move mountains, and that ". . . if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." But, what does God's eternal plan have to do with my personal belief?

It's not that I doubt God's capabilities. In fact, I've seen Him do small miracles when I was least expecting it. His omnipotence is not an issue for me. My question arises more along the lines of His desire. It's much easier for me to say, "I believe God can heal my grandmother" rather than "I believe God will heal my grandmother." The difference between these two statements is colossal. At what point can we claim that we have faith not only in God's capabilities, but also in our understanding of His desires. As we grow closer and closer to the heart of God and the "deep things of God" we gain a better understanding of His will. We can learn more of His ways and understand more of His heart for us, but do we ever get so close that we know His next move?

What does it mean to have a faith goal - to ask for something enormous and expect that God will provide? What a vulnerable place to be. What if you expect it with all of your heart and He chooses not to provide it? How safe should we allow ourselves to be with God? Praying to God in faith is certainly not a formula for receiving what we want. Ultimately, we must somehow pray for what God wants.

"A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy." Matthew 8:2-3