cut me some slack

New Website and Blog

2008-06-12T10:13:00.002-04:00

You can check out my new website and blog at jason-slack.com

New pictures of Carter

2006-11-04T19:25:00.000-05:00

Check out the latest photos at http://jlcsfam.shutterfly.com/action/

Week 3

2006-10-10T13:38:00.000-04:00

Carter is officially the cutest baby ever (no offense to those of you who have children). I'm serious, though. Lindsay and I were just discussing how amazing "parental bias" truly is. I know that I am greatly influenced by the fact that this is my own kid, but my eyes see him as absolutely perfect. I'm also aware that every parent I've ever talked to believes this same thing about his or her own child. I've just never experienced this myself. It's pretty cool.

Week 3 of parenthood was a good one. Carter met some of the great-grandparents and had his first official bath. I'm learning quite a bit about myself through this process. I've already found out that I'm one of those dads who will be following his kids everywhere with a video camera. I also never imagined myself talking so much "baby-talk". Who would have guessed that poopey diapers would be no big deal for me? Be sure to check out more photos at www.jlcsfam.shutterfly.com

Week 2

2006-10-01T20:37:00.000-04:00

Well, the family seems to be coming together nicely. Lindsay is finally starting to feel better, and we are both feeling more and more comfortable with Carter. His routine helps us to remember that there really are no surprises. We've always got a gameplan in the back of our minds in any given scenario, ie: if he starts crying shortly after a meal, then he just needs to fuss a little while by himself before he falls asleep.

Week #2 consisted of me transitioning back to work - staff meeting was tough on Monday, but work got easier as the week progressed. Lindsay's mom came over 3 days to help Lindsay and Carter during my transition. Grandma has been such a big comfort - she really has the touch! This weekend we made our first road trip to Mansfield to visit my parents and to allow me to break away for h2o's Fall Getaway at Pleasant Hill Outdoor Center. Grandma and Grandpa had a great visit with the little man, but Miss Kitty seemed passively jealous. I'm sure she'll adjust to her new nephew. Overall, life is good. Lindsay and I are starting to see how life will eventually look with our new son. Overwhelming feelings are fading and we are having some great bonding times with Carter. If you haven't met him yet, be sure to give us a call to stop by!

Welcome Carter Michael Slack!

2006-09-21T13:51:00.000-04:00

Carter Michael Slack was born on Saturday, September 16th at 5:24 pm. He weighs 8 pounds 6 ounces, is 20 and 3/8 inches long and has a full head of dark hair. All I can say for now is that we are so blessed already by this little boy. I am humbled and honored to have a son. This has truly been one of the best experiences of my life. Lindsay, Carter, and I are adjusting at home to the new changes in life. I'll try to keep updating periodically for anyone who still reads this.
By the way: if you are interested in receiving an e-mail invitation to view more photos of Carter and family, email me at slack.jason@gmail.com

The baby kicks hard!

2006-06-09T20:33:00.000-04:00

It's been fun lately to not only feel our baby kick, but to actually see it. I've heard that this will become a common occurence later in pregnancy, but it's something different to actually see it! Lindsay and I are ready to meet our baby - especially me. It doesn't seem fair that she gets to carry him/her around all of the time now, and I get nothing. I'm sure my tune will change in about 4 months, but I can't wait to see what the little person looks like.

More about Amsterdam

2006-05-23T13:56:00.000-04:00

Well, I promised to give more details from our trip to Amsterdam now that I've returned home and have a little more time to spare. Overall, my fourth trip to Amsterdam was a fantastic experience. Each trip seems to have its own unique experiences, qualities and characteristics. This year is no different - in fact this was perhaps the most unique trip so far! Our team consisted of only 5 people (2 staff and 3 students) which added a cool dynamic of being small, manageable, and intimate. I really felt more like I was on a mission trip with a few friends - rather than the leader/manager of a large group. In this way, I was able to really have my own mission trip again (very similar to my first overseas trip to Italy). Here is a run through of some of the key events of our trip organized chronologically.

Wednesday
Leave the parking lot in front of my apartment at about 11:00am to begin a long day of traveling. We arrived in Amsterdam around 8:00am on Thursday morning (which felt more like 2:00am EST). It was much more difficult than I expected to leave Lindsay. My parents committed to staying in contact with her while I was hoping that Skype would work out ok for me to call her from Amsterdam.

Thursday
Greeted by the Beebe's and Eric Asp at Schipol airport in Amsterdam. Nicole was stopped by customs (her biggest fear in life) while Jake and Andrew's luggage remained in Washington DC. We didn't even have an address to give the baggage claim people for shipping the suitcases when they came in. After getting settled into the upper room of the Zolder, we met in the cafe' for a Pannenkoeken breakfast (Dutch pancakes). This was a cool addition to the short-term trip this year. It was fun to see several Zolder people again and be welcomed by everyone. Next we tried to stay awake for the orientation by Lee and Patricia (who did a wonderful job by the way). Finally, we walked around the city for a couple of hours. Everyone was exhausted by this time and ready for bed. Yet - good attitudes all around.

City street near Central Station in Amsterdam

Friday
Among other activities, we walked around in pairs to pray and possibly talk to people in the tourist areas. We met up to experience the World Press Photo Tour in the Oude Kerk (old church) at the edge of the red light district. Strange to see this 400 year old magnificent cathedral now turned into a museum and surrounded by the infamous red light district of Amsterdam. Anyway, the photo exhibit was extremely powerful. One of the images, in particular, made me cry. I won't post it here, but it was a collection of photos depicting the mourning of a family at the death of a US soldier in Iraq. The most gripping image was of the soldier's young widowed wife standing beside his casket with her pregnant stomach. I suppose the images that match our life situations are the ones that affect us the most.
Also on Friday, we met Eric's home group at Central Station to take a train to Nijmegen - the oldest city in the Netherlands and about a 90 minute train ride from Amsterdam.

Train to Nijmegen - Eric, Gerard, and me

Saturday
Spent the day in Nijmegen with Eric's home group. Eric, Nicole, Geert Jan (Matt knows how to pronounce this name best), and myself visited one of the key Christian leaders in the city at his home. Our goal was to ask him a little about the churches in Nijmegen and explain the Zolder to him in an attempt to determine the need for a new church in the city. The response was an overwhelming yes as the churches that do exist in this city are only reaching a very small percentage of the population. For the rest of the afternoon, Eric, Matt and I spent time walking along the river talking with people about spiritual things and about the need for a church. Overall, the conversations were encouraging. Our final conversation stuck out most to me. Three women were sitting on the ground near one of the parks talking. We approached them with our spiritual questionnaire and they welcomed the conversation. After we finished asking the set questions, they wanted to continue to ask us questions about God and Christianity. We answered as many of their questions as we could - sharing the good news of Jesus Christ with them and praying for them as we left. It was cool to experience this with Matt and Eric.

Sunday
Our extended team (the five of us, plus 7 from Eric's home group) attended an old Catholic church in Nijmegen. The service was translated into English so the Americans sat at the very front and to the side. As a whole, this "mission trip within a mission trip" was a new and exciting experience for me. It was cool to spend so much time with Dutch people from the Zolder. It was funny to watch our team learn to pronounce the difficult sounds of the Dutch language (especially difficult to pronounce are: Geert Jan, Gerard, and Nijmegen). When we returned Sunday night to Amsterdam we attended both services of the Zolder50 and served in whatever ways we could (greeting, dish washing, child care, etc.) Also that night we hung out with a guy named Neil who lives in a "squat" in Amsterdam and believes God answers his questions by giving him either a heads or tails on the coin in his pocket. We tried to listen to him and share about our experiences with God.

Walking the streets of Nijmegen. Our extended team.

Monday
We split into pairs - Matt & Jake, Nicole and Andrew (me and myself) went to Museum Plein to talk with people about spiritual things. It's a rare experience for me to go out by myself to talk with strangers (especially in downtown Amsterdam). I enjoyed the experience and talked with several people. Unfortunately, the people I conversed with were far from God - hungry for spirituality, but far from God. One couple was actually studying the ancient religion of Shamanism. I was reminded of the intense need for the Zolder50 church in Amsterdam.

Tuesday
Martijn shared his story with us for the morning devotional. His humility and honesty really impacted our team. His struggle with drug addiction opened our hearts to him, and we invited him to join us at other points during the week so we could encourage him and be encouraged by him.

Martijn

We also spent time working at The Cleft (a YWAM ministry in the red light district. This was a powerful time of ministry in the "gutter". Will (one of the YWAM staff) and I walked through the streets of the red light district praying for the prostitutes in the windows, for the men searching for the right prostitute, for the drug dealers we interacted with, for those buying drugs in front of our eyes, for the street ladies(illegal prostitutes on the street who are usually addicted to hard drugs), and for the homeless. I've never been in an environment like this in my life - yet I felt safe and in the center of God's protection. Again, I was reminded of the intense need for the Zolder50 church in Amsterdam. The rest of our team stayed on a bridge in this district praying, talking with people, and even leading worship - Andrew had a guitar. This attracted many curious eyes and opened the door for some conversations. I believe this day influenced our team in a powerful way.

Wednesday
Free Day!
Van Gogh Museum, Rijks Museum, Marseille House (photo museum), Shopping in the outdoor markets, bike riding, Hard Rock Cafe', Canal Boat Tour. No rest for the weary!

Thursday
Matt and I helped babysit Olivia and Elliot Asp while Jake, Andrew and Nicole watched Ned and Katie's baby. I got to go to Elliot's school with him in the morning. I was amazed that the teacher spoke Dutch only and Elliot understood everything. Eric and I broke away in the afternoon to rent a green car and find perhaps the only disc golf course in all of the Netherlands. It was a rough afternoon for me as Eric beat me and as I lost my favorite disc in the water. It was good to be with Eric. Each year, the Bowling Green mission team has the unique opportunity to encourage the full-time missionaries who come from BG. Plus, I just miss my friend.

Eric and I at an overgrown disc golf hole

Me mourning the loss of the stratus in front of its watery grave.

Friday
The only ugly day of our trip - cold, windy, and rainy. I was bummed at first, but realized that God knows what He's doing. It was our last day to go out into the city to invite people to the Zolder and discuss spiritual things. I had lunch with Mark Beebe and enjoyed catching up with him a little. Our team had a closing pizza party and reflection time. I was encouraged by what God was teaching each of them - also by the nice words from the staff at the Zolder. We said most of our goodbyes at the Soul Gathering (the Zolder's version of leadership community and Souled Out combined).

Saturday
The long trek home. It was so great to see Lindsay again. I think her belly grew a little in the 10 days I was gone. Little Slack is kicking much more now - I felt him kick twice on the day I got back (I still think it's a "him"). We're still trying to catch up and tell each other about all that happened while I was gone.

Thanks so much to those of you praying for us. Much of what we learned is still being processed, but overall it was a very successful trip. This is definitely one of my favorite things to do. Feel free to post any comments or questions.

A few pictures from our mission trip

2006-05-18T15:06:00.000-04:00

Here are a few pics from early in the trip. I haven't uploaded the others yet, but hope to do so soon. Everything's going great so far. Unfortunately, I brought the only computer so after talking with Lindsay on Skype and giving the team an opportunity to send e-mails, I have very little time for blogging. I hope to give a short summary of each day when I get back to BG. A few highlights include singing and leading worship in the red light district while walking through and praying for the men looking for prostitutes, the drug dealers, and the ministries in the area. The team is doing well and each person seems to be growing quite a bit on the trip. The baby above is Aleca (not sure of the correct spelling) - Lee and Diane Dubois' 3-week old baby girl. It was good practice for me to hold such a young baby. We don't have much time left here, but God has really done big things on our trip. I hope to update more soon. Thanks for your prayers!

If you're bored, Elliot Asp blogged about me earlier today: elliot-says.blogspot.com

Amsterdam Day 4

2006-05-14T18:57:00.000-04:00

I've had less time to get on the Internet than I expected over here. I'm still hoping to give a more detailed update and some pictures soon. We are fully recovered from the jet lag and the time is really flying by - way to fast. Our team traveled to a nearby city - Nijmegen (Matt Mcclure is still having trouble pronouncing this one). We teamed up with Eric Asp's home group to "spy" on the city as a potential future church plant for Zolder 50. It was a brand new experience for me, and it went really well. Today I saw Alex from last year. He seems to be doing very well and also seemed really happy to see me. I hope to talk with him more about his experiences over the past year with God.

Now we are back in Amsterdam with only 5 days left! I really hope to get some quality time talking with people in the city this week. Our weather has been perfect so far - sunny and low 70's each day (very rare for Holland).

As I said, I hope to post some pictures soon. Thanks for all of your comments. Feel free to post your favorite memories of past trips (if you've been here).

Back in Amsterdam

2006-05-11T05:18:00.000-04:00

Our team of 5 made it safely to Amsterdam this morning. It truly is great to be back on my 4th mission trip here. The reunion with the Beebe's and Eric Asp at the airport was especially nice. Our trip was fairly eventful as our connecting flight was delayed an hour. We barely made it to the overseas flight in D.C. and some of our luggage didn't quite make it. Jake and Andrew are without suitcases for now. The guy at the airport desk promised that the luggage will be delivered within the next day. To top it all off, one of the cans of pop in Matt's suitcase exploded and he was dripping root beer from Schipol airport all the way to De Krakeling. Fortunately, the damage was minimal and Eric only lost one can of his precious A&W. I enjoyed talking with Lindsay over Skype when I arrived. That technology still amazes me! I hope to update periodically while over here and upload some pictures if I get time.

Week 20

2006-05-07T22:49:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. This is definitely worthy of a posting. Lindsay and I had our 20 week appointment with the midwife on Friday (for those of you who haven't heard the news yet, you can check out how we surprised my parents here - www.slacksurprise.blogspot.com).

Everything looks and measures normal. Linda, the ultrasound lady, is the only person on earth who knows the gender of our baby - sort of a weird feeling. It was tough not to find out, but we're determined. I swear that I can see "something" in this picture, but Lindsay and Linda disagree. You be the judge. We were so thankful for a healthy pregnancy so far. Lindsay is feeling better - still tired, but not as sick.

ha

2006-03-22T11:35:00.000-05:00

ok, so i was going to post a serious entry today, but I've got to post this website first. It's amazingly funny.

http://chucknorrisfacts.com/

Maybe I'll get time to post more later.

Computers and Amsterdam

2006-03-03T11:44:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I finally got my computer back from Dell after only 3 weeks of being without. My bitterness is slowly fading. I wish I could say that having my computer back will greatly increase the number of postings I put on here, but that would probably be foolish.

In the meantime, my friend Andrew put up a really cool posting about our upcoming mission trip to Amsterdam. Check it out at: http://andrewwrites.blogspot.com/2006/03/my-thoughts-on-amsterdam.html

How I love technology

2006-02-24T09:22:00.000-05:00

Well, it doesn't really matter how much money I spend on computers. They will break. For some reason, I have this effect on technology. Dell is amazed at my ability to break a 3 month old computer. I guess I just have the touch. And so, I've been without my computer for almost 3 weeks now. Fortunately, I was able to back up my schedule and a few other important files, and my old computer (the one I broke first) seems to be stepping up to the challenge of filling in. Although, I have cut back from posting and checking blogs for now. I guess I'm just out of the routine.

If the man or woman at Dell who is supposed to be fixing my computer is reading this - please try to get it back to me soon! :-)

Breakfast on Campus

2006-01-31T12:04:00.000-05:00

My friend Bryan recently revived a rich tradition in our church known as the "Breakfast Club". It started today in the Student Union on campus. Four of us met at 9:30am, went our separate ways for about 45 minutes to pray, journal, study the Bible, and just spend time alone with God, and then we regrouped at 10:15 to eat breakfast together and talk.

I have fond memories of the breakfast club dating back to 1996 as a Sophomore here at BGSU. The first breakfast club required much more of a commitment than today. If my memory is correct, in the old days our mornings began around 6:30am in Offenhauer Residence Hall. Andy, Eric, Greg, Jonas, and sometimes Dustin and myself (maybe a few others that I can't recall) would meet downstairs no matter how late we may have stayed up the night before. In some cases, the strict commitment meant that there could be a loud knock on my ninth floor room door at 6:35 if I was not awake yet. Though sometimes rather sluggish, I remember great times of prayer and reflection during this early breakfast club. I may not recall exact scripture or Biblical themes of my individual times, but I still attribute some of my discipline to those days. In addition, we began and cultivated friendships that would last ten years and continue to grow and mature even today. Most of the men have moved away and are serving God in influential ways in new locations. It was during this first breakfast club that inside jokes such as the "Big Asp Bowl" of cereal and "I will kill you and your children and your children's children" began (these probably sound strange to someone who wasn't there, but the jokes are fairly innocent). I miss those days and the men who were involved.

The breakfast club ended for a couple of years, but was revived the year after I graduated from college. As a new school teacher, I was unable to attend this group, but several of the members were the same. The same discipline that was required for the first breakfast club continued to this one, and I felt bonded to many of the new members because of their similar commitment. I picked up several more close friends from this revival even without being personally involved.

Again the breakfast club ended for a couple of years, but was brought back for the third time just three years ago. This time, the discipline also included first working out in the student recreation center, then meeting for breakfast in the Kreischer Sundial cafeteria, and finally ending in individual practice rooms of the music building for alone time with God. It was during this version of the breakfast club that I remember spending countless hours praying about my decision to date Lindsay. I read stories about Jim Elliot and wondered how God may ask me to "lay down my life" for Him. I was new to full-time ministry and felt excited about how God could use me. I love the passion and zeal characterized in my memories of this breakfast club.

And now, a new era begins. Two years later, a new breakfast club has started. I'm looking forward to sharing this discipline with Bryan, Jarrod, Chris and whoever else may show up. I'm looking forward to God's lessons and the memories that will develop. And, of course, I'm looking forward to breakfast.

Where I've been. . .

2006-01-23T18:35:00.000-05:00

My friend Jay just posted an entry on his blog re-telling part of a cool story of what God did in my life as a college student.

Check it out at http://hopelesslyuncool.blogspot.com/2006/01/what-are-you-prepared-to-do.html

The Wellspring of Life. . .

2006-01-18T10:11:00.000-05:00

Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

John Eldridge, in his book, "Waking the Dead" says that you cannot truly give to others if your own heart is neglected. I have seen the effects of this in my own life. In ministry especially, the lines between work and rest are fuzzy. If we love our jobs, we can work up to 80 hours in a week without even realizing it. Our hearts, however, feel the burden of such work. We may physically feel fine, but inwardly our hearts are being defeated. Fatigue and burnout catch up with us quickly and seemingly out of nowhere. Eldridge claims that we are all in a battle for our hearts, and we must fight by actively guarding our "wellspring of life."

For me, the battle feels confusing. A year and a half ago, I realized that I need a structured battle plan. Even with my own good intentions, if I don't have an outlined strategy, then I will most likely lose the fight. Here's what I came up with in August of 2004:

- Take at least one complete day off each week
- Have an extended time of at least 3 hours in prayer, reading the Bible, and reflection each week
- Take one 8 hour retreat day per month (similar to extended time above)
- Take one 24 hour retreat per semester
- Take one 48 hour retreat per year
- Take 5 prayer walks per week
- read for pleasure in the evenings before bed
- Find a consistent hobby or project

Certainly, I haven't been perfect at keeping each of these "Proverbs 4" activities, but overall I am very pleased with their effects so far. As the new semester begins here at BGSU, I am committed to continuing these activities in an attempt to stay in ministry for the long haul. In many ways, I feel it is my responsibility to take care of myself in this way in order to more fully devote myself to God's work here on campus.

I should also note that I am still searching for a good hobby. I guess my criteria for this hobby are sort of strict - I'm hoping to find something that is productive, but not directly ministry related. Any ideas out there?

postings

2006-01-16T17:28:00.000-05:00

A wise friend shared with me last week (after scolding me for not posting more entries on my blog) that I need to get to the point in which writing on the web log serves me. That is to say it should not be work for me to write, but instead it should be an outlet - a form of expression, or even just fun. This will encourage me to do it more often.

I strongly agree with my friend, but confess that blogging has not yet become an outlet for me. There are times when I enjoy writing. I may observe something during the day and look forward to posting an entry on it that night. But, for now these times are sporadic. And because they don't happen very often, I may even choose to ignore my thoughts and observations rather than giving the extra effort to type them online.

I have noticed about myself that I require more outlets - not that I need more ways to express myself, but that I will tend to leave my thoughts and feelings unexpressed. I don't inherently feel a strong need to be heard. But, God is bringing to my attention lately that in order to be truly alive I must express my observations, my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas, and my opinions. Otherwise I remain only a spectator in life.

I highly doubt that blogging will be the main outlet of these things for me (at least I hope not!) but, for my friend's sake, I will do my best to make blogging one form of healthy expression.

2005-12-29T19:50:00.000-05:00

Lindsay and I had a great Christmas. How nice it is for our families to only live about two and a half hours apart. We really enjoy being with them. It is an especially unique experience when some of them truly understand and appreciate the meaning of the holiday. We talk with college students frequently about Jesus and why he was born, but having those conversations with family just seems to amplify the significance. God is real, and He works all around us!

It's nice to have a break. I think God knows exactly what we need as full-time college missionaries.

Souled Out and Baptism. . .

2005-12-19T16:44:00.000-05:00

I know this picture is a little fuzzy, but I thought Lindsay took a pretty cool shot of me leading worship at our Souled Out service in December (our monthly gathering of extended worship, prayer, communion, etc.)

This is another fuzzy shot (maybe we'll finally break down and buy a new camera someday). Mark and I had the honor of baptizing Jeff on the same night. Jeff's got a really cool story, and I'm thankful to play a small part in it.

Rocky

2005-12-14T15:57:00.000-05:00

Well, the semester is finally over, and the students are in the middle of finals week. Campus directors are doing end of the year staff evaluations this week (8 hour meeting yesterday). But, this just made my day: http://www.rockybalboablog.com/

Fashionable Christianity . . .

2005-12-07T10:04:00.000-05:00

We tend to fall in love with certain public figures - not for who they are, but for the way they appear. An actor can capture our hearts with the role he plays in a movie or TV show. An author can win our affection by creating a character or writing a poem that resonates with our struggles. A popular band can kindle our political fire and make us want to vote a certain way. These public figures are deeply admired. We want to talk like them and wear their clothes. Yet, we only know them on the surface. We follow their passions and their abilities.

Christianity is not admired. As a general rule (at least in my experience on the college campus), young people do not see Christianity as an attractive paradigm to follow. It is not cool to believe in Jesus, heaven, and hell. In fact, most of the time it seems like just the opposite. Some Christians deal with this by trying to make Christianity fashionable. I must admit my desire, at times, to want this. We reach for the elements of culture that are accepted and popular - adding them to Christianity in a desperate hope to "turn cool." These elements of culture are not wrong in themselves, but they are not what makes Christianity attractive. It can be dangerous to rely on accepted cultural elements to define who we are. We don't need to fight to keep these elements out of the church - this would be foolish. But we should not hope to be identified by them.

What makes a person and a paradigm attractive is passion. To have strong beliefs and convictions is appealing. Apathy and complacency are no longer popular qualities. If we stand un-wavered behind our beliefs; and more importantly, if we live our lives in a manner consistent with what we believe, then we are admired. In short, if we treasure and follow our beliefs more than admiration itself, then we attract others to do the same.

Cool Story

2005-12-02T10:40:00.000-05:00

My friend Eric in Amsterdam has had some great things happen lately. Check out the latest post on his blog: http://amsterdamasp.blogspot.com/2005/12/mission-accomplished.html

Approval

2005-11-30T10:14:00.000-05:00

"It is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends." 2 Corinthians 10:18

I've been dealing with some deep issues lately - issues that affect who I am and how I can minister to others. These issues deal with approval, but not approval from the sense of acceptance or likeability. The issues I'm referring to involve approval as it relates to identity. I'm learning that a part of my identity should have been confirmed years ago. Yet, where I lack confirmation, I find approval from the heavenly Father. I'm still learning about this stuff, and I have been surprised by the amount of emotion stirred by it.

The Sexy Carrots

2005-11-27T16:03:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine recently gave me the book Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. The subtitle for Chapter six is "The Sexy Carrots", in which Miller expresses some creative thought on the desires in life that we think we want so badly but lead only to death. It really is a cool chapter.

On a side note, Miller speaks of his very first experiences of Christianity by saying, "Nothing in my life was mundane. After I became a Christian, every aspect of human interaction had a fascinating appeal, and the intricate complexity of the natural landscape was remarkable in its perfection . . ." But, Miller goes on to admit that joy fades, and happiness is temporal. Soon the romantic feelings of Christianity began to wear off like a new couple just passing through the "feeling" stages of love.

Miller is honest about his confusion at this stage in his new life, and I can relate. I have been a Christian now for almost 15 years. My romantic feelings with the Creator have come and gone and then come back around again. Although the feelings ebb and flow, my commitment is always to Him. In the low times I have not looked back or turned away. And it is a "low time" that I am feeling right now. My commitment and my relationships keep me focused and safe during these times, but I hate staying here for long. Right now, my outlook on God is based on personal discipline rather than grace or power. Yet, I stay committed and wait.

Jesus, bring me face to face with You. And let me leave the encounter incapable of complacency and mediocrity.

Update

2005-10-30T19:09:00.000-05:00

I really hope to write more personal thoughts here soon, but for now, here is an update of what the hurricane Katrina victims still need:

Toaster
Coffee Pot/Maker
Blender
Broom/Pan
5 Dressers
Couch
Men’s Pants 32x32, casual
Outdoor plastic chairs
Rugs, small and big
2 Vacuums
2 Phones
2 End tables
Clothes hangers

If you have any of these items that you would like to donate, give me a call or e-mail: jason.slack@gcmweb.org

Thanks!

What they really need. . .

2005-10-12T17:25:00.000-04:00

Michelle, Tiffany, and Antonio

Gloriadeidra and Moniquequa

Don (on the right)

The hurricane Katrina evacuees are slowly adjusting to life in Bowling Green. They are situated in 3 apartments on the south side of BG. They've already received most of the furniture and clothing they need through people's generous donations. They have been coming to church and hanging out with us as much as possible. Two of the pictures above were taken at the BGSU homecoming football game where the families had a blast rooting for the Falcons! The kids are in school here, and the parents are applying for jobs.

The BG News recently posted an article about the situation: BG News Article.

The current and most urgent need is still money. Several churches in the area have committed to helping, but we have much more to raise in order to help pay for rent and utilities. Please pray about helping in this way. You can send it to Matt Hilderbran c/o h2o Church 1134 Sandpiper Ln. Bowling Green Ohio 43402 Checks should be made payable to: h2o Church.

Please Help

2005-10-07T14:24:00.000-04:00

A few people have asked how they can help with the 10 evacuees our church recently adopted. Thank you for asking; help is greatly needed. The biggest need right now is finances. We've estimated the total financial need for the next 6 months to be around $20,000. Our church is really taking a step of faith in this project. In addition, the families are in need of food, furniture, clothing, and friendship.

In the next couple of days I will be posting the specifics of these needs including clothing sizes for everyone. In the meantime, check out our website to find out how to donate money: www.h2ochurch.com.

Thanks for taking an interest.

More New Orleans info. . .

2005-10-03T15:36:00.000-04:00

The Toledo Blade wrote an article about us today if you are interested in reading more about h2o's efforts to aide Katrina victims.

Toledo Blade Article

We could really use some help if you or anyone you know of would like to donate money, food, or furniture, please let me know. We estimate our total financial need to be around $20,000.

New Orleans to Bowling Green. . .

2005-09-30T09:50:00.000-04:00

I was filled with a rush of different emotions last night as 3 of our staff members returned to Bowling Green after following God's voice to pack up and drive to New Orleans for 4 days. They returned with 10 people needing a place to live, food to eat, and clothes to wear. Our staff guys simply made the 20 hour trek to the gulf coast without any plan other than to see how they could help - and with the hopes of possibly bringing back a small family for our church to adopt for a few months.

They were overwhelmed with people needing a place to live - buying a used van to help transport as many people back as possible. I met the 10 people last night (ranging from grandparent to small child). At first, I was thrilled at the chance to help these people. I imagined the scenes I had witnessed on the tv from the crowded shelters and was glad that our church could rescue 10 people from this way of life. But, when I left to lead worship at our service last night, I was overtaken with a different emotion. I walked into the student union to see hundreds of people sitting around with food, laptops, ipods, and starbucks coffee. I was appalled at the fact that normal life can continue here while so many are hurting across the country. The families from New Orleans suddenly became more human to me. These are not simply people that needed "rescued." These are men, women, and children that have families, personalities, dreams, and life ambitions, yet all of their remaining earthly possessions are stuffed into 2 or 3 government provided net bags as they try to find a temporary home 20 hours from the wreckage of their houses- not even having clean clothes to wear.

I could not lead the h2o service last night as if everything was normal. Yet, worship seemed a little deeper for me as we sang about the hope that comes from God. I'm confident that this experience will change our church forever.

To sit or stand. . .

2005-09-19T21:05:00.000-04:00

I recently had a conversation with my grandmother's sister (my great aunt?), Shirley. We sat in my grandmother's living room and discussed Shirley's recent short-term stay in a nursing home. Although she is relatively healthy and independent, aunt Shirley was involved in a car accident that required her to spend a short time recovering in the assisted living facility. She is fine now and absolutely full of life. She is my grandmother's best friend. I love to watch the two of them together as they laugh, reminisce, and shout across the room into each other's hearing aides. If I grow old, I truly hope that I grow old as these two have. Although their memories are fading and they may talk about the same topics over and over again at one sitting, they are completely happy. They love each other, and they love their families.

In my visit, aunt Shirley talked about a woman at the nursing home who decided to give up walking one day. "She just asked for a wheelchair because she was tired." "I told her that she would never go back, but she wouldn't listen." Walking must have become a chore for this woman (probably a common occurrence in the nursing home). But, this woman thought she would just take a break from it for awhile. She sat down in the wheelchair - never to walk again. She gave up her ability to walk. She gave in. I've never thought about this transition before. My perspective has always been that wheelchairs are for people who instantly need them - a man paralyzed by an accident or debilitating disease. But for some, it is not an instant occurrence -- it is a decision they must make over time. And some people actually choose the "easier way." Aunt Shirley told me that it may seem easier to sit all of the time, but you give up the freedom to walk. Certainly, I cannot yet identify with this choice to sit -- I have no idea what it feels like to deal with intense pain just from walking across the house, or to be required to muster every ounce of strength to stand up. I don't know how I would respond to these factors, but I hope I always choose to walk while I still have the choice.

Aunt Shirley's story must have a connection to the spiritual world as well. That will have to be another post -- as always, comments are welcome.

Matter. . .

2005-09-15T09:40:00.000-04:00

So here's what's been on my mind a lot lately. . .

What is it that I actually need in life? Sometimes I catch myself wanting much and confusing my want with need. And, is it bad to simply want?

Here are a few random thoughts associated with my dilemma:

I really want a Canon digital SLR camera that costs around $800. Lindsay has discovered a new passion for professional quality photography - photos for the h2o website, wedding candids, and nature. As it stands, we own a "point-and-shoot" 3.1 megapixel digital camera. It works fine, and the pictures are more than acceptable. We obviously don't need the nicer camera. But, we want it.

A friend of mine is leaving town for a year, and he just offered me the opportunity to "babysit" his 60 inch, flat screen, rear projection, high definition television. Have you ever seen a 60 inch television? Have you ever seen high definition? First of all, I'm not even sure that any wall in our apartment is 60 inches long. Second, we use rabbit ears for reception on our current t.v. It would be a complete tragedy to hook rabbit ears up to my friend's television.

My computer is slowly dying. As I type, a part of me fears that it will instantly shut off as it has done every day for the past week. Its days are numbered. So, I purchased a new (refurbished) computer from Dell yesterday that is much smaller and faster than this one. It should arrive in 3-5 business days. A secret part of me is very happy that this computer is shot.

I visited an old high school friend this past weekend. He owns a big house and just purchased a fast motorcycle (it's actually a large scooter, but his kids call it a motorcycle). He's learning to drive it and practicing for the motorcycle license exam.

Hassan Mula is 6 years old and lives in Kenya with her parents. Her entire community has been dramatically impacted by the HIV/AIDS pandemic. This crises affects the whole social structure as a generation of hardworking adults is being wiped out. Frightened children and exhausted grandparents rarely have money for food, school, or medical care. Hassan is not in school at this time. She likes to play with building blocks. She helps at home by carrying water. She is in satisfactory health.

Hassan's life helps me to put mine in perspective. "You have been a refuge for the poor, a refuge for the needy in his distress, a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat." Isaiah 25:4

Check out World Vision sometime. It may just help us to decipher between what we want and what we need.

Bowling Green or bust. . .

2005-09-01T09:35:00.001-04:00

Fall of 1995 - Arriving at Bowling Green State University

This week marks the beginning of my 10th year of living in Bowling Green! I still remember my parents dropping me off as a freshman in 1995. I remember my mom making my bed for me on the 9th floor of Offenhauer East dormitory (room 920). I remember that she left me with cookies to remind me of home; I remember her tears as she drove away -- leaving her son to begin life on his own. It fascinates me to think of how much I’ve changed since that day as a timid college freshman. So many significant events have happened in my life while living in this city: I received two college degrees (still working on a third); made life-long friendships; led a Bible study as a Sophomore that began a hunger within me for ministry; learned how to play guitar and sing -- eventually developing the skills to lead worship and administrate the music ministry of our church; became a high school teacher; followed God’s call to be a full-time missionary; met the woman of my dreams and have enjoyed a full year of marriage with her; help lead a church for young people -- seeing God reach a seemingly unreachable crowd.

This list of accomplishments is not meant to bring attention to myself. In fact, it should rather draw attention away from me and to the God who changes lives. I began college as a shy, socially awkward teenager. Slowly, I learned to step away from selfish comfort to allow God to mold me into a man that knows Him intimately and is useful to Him. I know that I still have a long way to go, but it’s exciting for me to reflect on the journey so far and all of the people who have been involved along the way!

It is this excitement that spurs me on to play a role in the lives of new college students here. This past weekend, 3500 freshmen moved into the residence halls. Each young person has a unique story of their own, yet many of them undoubtedly possess the same characteristics as I did -- anxiety, intimidation, and awkwardness. I have a heart for these people. Thanks to the men and women who pursued me and followed God’s leading to build into my life, I can now effectively lead young students closer to Jesus. What an exciting thought! This is truly my passion, and I feel so ready to minister this semester.

h2o kickoff

2005-08-25T13:14:00.000-04:00

Our kickoff went great last night. About 180 people showed up to check it out. I enjoyed several conversations afterward with new freshmen. The band worked so hard for several weeks leading up to the event. It was rewarding to see the hard work pay off as we played the songs well and played our role in the theme of the whole night. I love what I do. I am surrounded by incredible people who love God and who work with such diligence to see His name reach this campus. Sometimes I wish this would never change.

not interested in church

2005-08-23T13:54:00.000-04:00

passing out water bottles while the freshmen move in

In college ministry, we call this "blitz week." It is the first week of classes here at Bowling Green State University. It is the week when 3500 freshman make some important decisions that could shape their entire college experience. It is the week that we like to be as well-known as possible.

I was sitting in the student union this morning talking with anyone interested in our church on campus called h2o. As I was talking with one particular girl who was filling her arms with free stuff from our table (pens, cups, cd's, etc.), I asked her if she had ever heard of h2o. She proudly said yes and continued selecting from our free promotional material. I then asked her if she had ever been to our church that meets here in the union. She immediately put the freebies down and said, "h2o is a church? Oh, I don't like churches. No offense, I just have a real problem with people who go to church." I assured her that I wasn't offended and told her that she could still take the free stuff. I asked her to consider coming sometime to see if this church might be a little different than whatever church had given her a bad impression. She nodded and quickly walked away.

I guess that about sums up the typical college student these days. I am definitely in the right place.

crying

2005-08-11T21:02:00.000-04:00

I noticed today how difficult it really is for me to cry. Men are often stereotyped as unemotional beings. I'm not sure if it's something in our DNA or simply the unfortunate and traditional idea that men are supposed to represent strength, and strength doesn't cry. Today, I discovered that I must first make the conscious decision to cry, or the tears never have a chance. I attended a conference on church leadership (telecasted to over 54,000 leaders around the world). During one of the sessions, images of human depravity and starvation were boldly projected on the screen. These images were incredibly powerful, and I was deeply disturbed at the thought of world hunger. And I found that this is the way the emotional process works for me: First, I acknowledge, on an intellectual level, that the subject I am seeing is an emotional matter. Second, I allow myself to bypass intellect temporarily to see if emotion is present within me. Third, my intellect returns and I make the decision of whether or not to allow the emotion within me to take physical form. Fourth, I cry.

It's very easy for me to complete the first two steps -- to recognize the emotional nature of something and to feel it stir within me. But, for some reason, the third step can be incredibly difficult. Without realizing it, I often decide not to allow emotion to pour out from within my heart. It is very comfortable to seal it up within me. Others won't notice me. I won't risk embarrassment. But I don't want that. I believe that strength and emotion are not at odds. Today, I made the decision to let it come out. It felt freeing and right.

jail time. . .

2005-08-08T11:15:00.000-04:00

Lindsay and I spent some time in prison this weekend. We visited the historic Ohio State Reformatory in Mansfield. It's hard to believe that I lived in Mansfield for almost 20 years and never visited this fascinating place. We took the "Hollywood" tour with my parents in which the guide pointed out key rooms from the prison where the movie "The Shawshank Redemption" was filmed (one of my favorite movies of all time).

Over 110 years old, the reformatory is a complete mess on the inside. In the late 1800's, the architects and engineers decided to place drainage pipes throughout the inside of the building (to help preserve the castle theme on the outside). These pipes were made of iron and would often rust away. Without proper maintenance for almost 20 years, the inside of this building has been flooded and worn away by humidity and freezing. Dedicated volunteers saved the main part of the building from being torn down and are spending many hours trying to restore as much as possible. These same volunteers give the tours and recount many stories about inmates and prison life.

On our way home, Lindsay and I talked about what prison life must have been like. The cells were so small. Solitary confinement was equal to a month in complete darkness. Boredom and despair must have been common feelings in this place. What person deserves this type of treatment? Of course, I understand and appreciate the need for prisons in our judicial system, but I can't imagine spending just one day locked up. It makes sense for those notorious men who steal, rape, and murder without remorse. But, it seems so harsh for the man who makes one mistake. The volunteers told the story of a man who shot his father to stop him from beating his mother. This man spent 3 years in the Mansfield prison. In this case, the punishment seems so much more severe than the crime. Yet a less remorseful man would receive the same jail time. Justice is so hard to understand sometimes.

2005-08-08T11:14:00.000-04:00

The room and desk where the warden shot himself in "The Shawshank Redemption."

accomplishments. . .

2005-08-03T11:13:00.000-04:00

Let my goal in life (or in each day) never be to accomplish as much as possible.

As I sit in my weekly extended time with God, I am tempted to think about all that I need to do today and how I could get ahead if I had just a little extra time. I am tempted to leave this place and begin accomplishing tasks.

Yet, accomplishing great things, even for God, is not the best way. Mary and Martha taught us this in Luke 10. Martha busied herself with good things -- the accomplishment of making Jesus feel welcome in her home while Mary simply sat at Jesus' feet listening. Jesus told them that Mary had chosen the best thing to do. It is best to sit in the presence of Jesus -- to converse with him, to listen, to learn, to confess and be honest, to be healed, to understand, to be heard, to show affection and emotion, at times to be overwhelmed with reality -- physically falling before him, to break, to be comforted, to be empowered, to hear truth, to find strength, to be fed, to be pursued, to hear correction, to rest, to worship.

"I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better." Ephesians 1:17

To know Him better -- how much greater is this than to accomplish more for Him. This seems especially difficult for those of us in full-time vocational ministry to understand.

in the morning. . .

2005-08-02T09:34:00.000-04:00

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3

I love waking up before the rest of the world -- seeing the sunrise and accomplishing more before 8am than the rest of the world does by noon. I love being with the Lord early in the morning. Not that it's more spiritual or that He rewards my discipline any more than others; I just love the solitude and the feeling of being different. It lays the foundation for the rest of my day.

But lately I can't wake up. I'm not going to bed later or sleeping uneasy. I've just lost the motivation to be awake in the morning. I know there's something deeper at work here -- perhaps a sort of battle to fight. Lord prepare me for battle in the morning.

response. . .

2005-07-27T20:43:00.000-04:00

There seems to be a common response when people, who are prepared in some way, see the real Jesus. The people I'm thinking of specifically are from the Old Testament - Daniel, and from the New Testament - Peter and John. Their response seems to include a sense of being overwhelmed in some way to the point of physically falling at the first sight of Jesus. Where does this response come from? There were thousands of people who had contact with Jesus -- some even traveled with him daily. Yet we only read of a few key people who were moved enough by their encounter to have this response. I would guess that the response comes from a combination of elements being present at the same time. For instance, Daniel 10, Luke 5, and Revelation 1 tell us that Daniel constantly lived in extreme obedience to God and that he had fasted for 3 weeks prior to the encounter; Peter did what Jesus said even though he was tired and doubtful; John was obeying God and was close to His Spirit. The first element present in this response was that of close obedience to God. Each man had a willing heart -- there were no distractions of selfish profit or of personal comfort. Their hearts were ready to see the real Jesus (or to see him differently than the thousands of others who encountered him).

I'm sure there may have been several other elements present to produce this physical response to the sight of Christ -- perhaps Jesus' willingness to unveil this sight or the overall purpose of the encounter in God's work (he showed himself in this way to Daniel in order to prepare him for the news he was about to receive). Further study may help to uncover more of this process (and maybe even other people in the Bible who experienced something similar), but we may never fully understand what triggers this overwhelming response.

I believe that this response can still take place today. Jesus may not be walking on earth in physical form (nor was he with Daniel or John in Revelation), but we certainly have encounters with him. Perhaps the only time I can remember responding to him in this way was about 2 years ago. I was spending 5 days alone in the wilderness of the Rocky Mountains. After 3 days of fasting I was growing very tired of the whole experience. I couldn't think of anything else to pray about or to read about. It felt as if my mind didn't even know what its next thought should be. As I sat by the bank of a small river, I asked God to use this experience to take me to a new place with Him. His answer came in the form of thought. I thought about my life -- particularly my past. It was as if all of my mistakes and sins were before me. I felt like I could remember each one with explicit detail. It was painful to think and "live" through these mistakes again, and it seemed to go on for hours. At first I didn't like God's answer to my prayer. But that's when the encounter came. Just after seeing those grotesque sights, I saw my life today. My encounter with the real Jesus was not a physical image or conversation, but I encountered his actions and his love. There in the mountains, I was brought face to face with the healing power of Jesus Christ. I was overwhelmed with the realization of who I am in comparison to a holy God. I wept for at least an hour -- not just tears, but true weeping. In a sense, I physically fell before God as a response to this encounter.

I don't think this sort of thing can happen very often, but when it does, you can't help but be changed forever. Thank you, Jesus.

o give me a home. . .

2005-07-22T08:32:00.000-04:00

I visited Buffalo, NY this past Monday and Tuesday with some friends. We were scoping out possible sites for a GCM church plant. The hope is to find another campus that has a need for something similar to h2o at Bowling Green. Buffalo was just one of the 6 or 7 Universities that we've visited so far this summer. The road trip was a blast with these friends, but it confirmed 2 conflicting facts:
1. There is certainly a need for our ministry on the campus.
2. None of us want to live in Buffalo :(

So I've been asking myself lately what a calling might look like to a specific place. How much do I weigh the different factors of a place? The need is certainly important, but so is desire. I don't think God wants us to look at dozens of campuses and solely choose one based on "statistical analysis" - the best logistical option. I believe He will give us a heart and a vision for a specific place based on many different factors - perhaps only a few of them are statistical. One thing is sure; I want to have a heart for a specific people; I want to be overwhelmingly drawn to a place - a place where I know that being obedient to God means going. I am patiently waiting for this place.

so many weddings!

2005-07-17T17:27:00.000-04:00

I participated in my fourth wedding of this month yesterday (we have one more next weekend). This comes with the territory in college ministry. Each one is unique and demonstrates love in a different way. Yesterday I sat in the very front -- in front of all of the pews and in front of the pastor and couple getting married. I sat by the organ when I wasn't playing guitar or singing. This seat gave me a view of the couple like I've never had while participating in a wedding before. I could see their every gesture. I've known this couple for about four years now. They've been very involved in our church and traveled with me on mission trips to Amsterdam. I was moved to see their love for each other as I sat in the front of their wedding. Matt cried for joy at the realization of God's gift to him through Kim. A bride is such a precious gift. I am grateful for the reminder of God's provision and of the joy that comes from being obedient to Him.

Safety. . .

2005-07-14T08:53:00.000-04:00

I asked God for something big yesterday -- to reveal Himself on a large-scale level. I felt the need for reassurance of His presence and purpose in the difficulties of life.

His answer was less than fascinating. I've already explored in my mind how His "small" answer could eventually be large-scale. I've wondered if perhaps He will turn the small answer into a solution to the big request I made. Either way, He answered.

A part of me feels something instinctively wrong with testing God by asking for something big and then evaluating His performance. For this reason, I am not discouraged by His answer. I never meant to test God. I firmly believe that He is the One who decides how and when to answer my prayers. But, I wonder if my views should be different. Should my prayers be for more specific, measurable results -- requests that clearly require either a positive or negative answer, leaving no room for middle ground? I pray in a very safe way -- a way that allows for God's will and for His creativity in answering. This way is the most comfortable, and it seems to match my understanding of God. But, what if He is not asking me to be safe? And how does all of this affect my view of God? That seems to be the true question of safety -- how it could change my view (or the view of those around me) about God. A safe prayer allows enough room that my view of God really cannot be negatively affected. An unsafe prayer, as it seems, must have the potential to negatively or positively affect my view of God. Why would I want to take this risk?

I've thought of King David and the many men who fought battles with him against the enemies of Israel. Oftentimes extremely out-numbered, they would pray for victory. This is certainly an unsafe prayer request. The answer required the supernatural, or these men would have surely died.

I welcome any other scripture references and/or comments to discuss these questions.

True Worship. . .

2005-07-12T10:29:00.000-04:00

Daniel has become one of my favorite people in the Bible. Not only did he rise to the top of a government that took his country captive, but he did it by being stubborn -- by not obeying the government but trusting God instead. Daniel never gives in. His determination to follow God in the midst of the worst possible situation is so motivating to me.

I understand Daniel's determination just a little bit more when I read what happened to him in Daniel 10. After spending 3 weeks in constant prayer, he sees the preincarnate Jesus standing before him. At the sight of God, Daniel says ". . . I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground." Daniel fainted when confronted with the experience of being in the presence of Jesus! An angel then comes to comfort him and bring him to his feet so he can hear all that God wants to say.

Sometimes I hear of people fainting because of an overwhelming fear, but I've also heard of runners in a race fainting at the finish line because they've given more than their bodies were able. This is the way I like to think of Daniel fainting before Jesus. He had spent so much time and discipline in prayer that when Jesus appeared, he had nothing left to give. The emotion, awe, joy, and beauty became unbearable for Daniel. This is how he viewed God. This is what motivated his determination to always follow Him. I long for this view of God.

My desert. . .

2005-07-07T09:18:00.000-04:00

It is a fearful feeling to be alone in the desert.

All of us are led to the desert at various stages of life for some specific reason; for it is in the seclusion of the desert that we can see the sun more clearly. In fact, the desert sun can often be all we see while we're there. It can be so hot and blinding that it's difficult to think about anything else. In a crowded and busy life I may actually prefer traveling through the desert over traveling the city streets. Yet, walking is more difficult -- each step may be painful and hot, but it is a time of focus and concentration. There is nothing out there to pull our attention or grab our eyes. Each grain of sand looks the same. The road ahead is no different from the road just passed. Destination and navigation are usually impossible and become unnecessary. There is only the sun and its heat -- sometimes painfully hot and sometimes a comforting and warming light, but somehow the intensity of the sun is mysteriously related to the reason for being in the desert.

But what if the sun was gone? Or, what if something was blocking the sun. In our blindness we may not even know we are in the desert. The painful heat would be gone, but so would the concentration and comfort of a constant light. We would not know the reason for being there nor would we know that a reason needs to exist at all. We may either be confused -- wandering and searching for light, or we would be oblivious -- unaware that the intensity of the sun should be present here. In this state we would be alone -- still possessing the reasons for being in the desert, but only being hurt by them without understanding and without focus. The desert is a fearful place, but how much more fearful if we don't even realize we are there!

Anniversary

2005-07-05T19:40:00.000-04:00

Lindsay and I celebrated our first anniversary this weekend in the Great Smoky Mountains. We were already planning a trip to Atlanta to participate in a wedding, so we decided to take an extra day on the return trip to enjoy the occasion. We hiked a small portion of the Appalachian Trail and then stayed at a bed and breakfast in the foothills (at the excellent recommendation of a close friend).

I wish I could say that with my vast experience in outdoorsmanship and backpacking (actually only about 5 trips) that we hiked into the backcountry of the Smokies, put up a tent, unrolled our sleeping bags, raised our food in a tree to keep it away from bears, and slept in the woods. But, we decided instead to spoil ourselves with the comforts of a beautiful Inn on a lake. The home-cooked breakfast was phenomenal! Maybe next year we'll cook our meals by campfire and sleep with the trees, bears, and thru-hikers of the A.T., but I was glad we wimped out this year.

2005-07-05T19:39:00.000-04:00

Lindsay and I on the Appalachian Trail

The Past . . .

2005-06-28T17:25:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the mysteries of the past are revealed. Sometimes we get just a little more of the picture as we grow older. Have you ever received information that you find to be a missing puzzle piece – as if you’ve had a partially completed puzzle sitting on your coffee table for 15 years? My puzzle is a picture of spiritual upbringing. It is the first 5 years of my life as a Christian in one snapshot. The first 5 years of the Christian life seem to parallel the early years of a human life. It is an impressionable time – a time of critical growth. Good parenting is extremely important during this time as many basic life skills are learned and practiced.

I was given a piece of that puzzle last night. This piece was so critical that, once in place, it reveals part of the snapshot that was unrecognizable before. More of the puzzle seems to make sense now. I hate the piece I received. I hate the news I was given. The feelings are so new that it is difficult not to hate the entire puzzle – just because of this one piece.

Yet, I am an adult today. The puzzle is only a snapshot of the past. Although the past leaves imprints on the present and the future, it is over with. New knowledge doesn’t change who I am as an adult. It may help me to recognize some of the identifiable scars, but it cannot continue to wound. In fact, new knowledge can even give me a clearer picture of God’s power, goodness, protection, provision, and of His ability to develop me into a mature adult despite the past.

Of course, the puzzle is still not complete. Many pieces are yet to be found. In some ways, this new piece even brings more confusion on other parts of the snapshot. But, I believe God reveals these pieces, in time, to give us the view of the snapshot that we need right now. It is my puzzle – my story. As ugly as it may become with each new puzzle piece, I will embrace it, own it, and learn from it.

more faith. . .

2005-06-25T17:14:00.000-04:00

A friend of ours told us a story this week of faith and God's provision. The story gave me a sense of amazement with God's power and with His intimate involvement in the lives of His children. But, I also should confess a hint of jealousy and insecurity.

Our friend found out that she was required to have health insurance for an extended mission trip she will be taking in less than 2 weeks. While God had provided the necessary funds to pay for the trip, no money was left to pay for the new insurance need. Our friend began to wonder if she might not be able to participate in the trip. Shortly after discovering the new need, she was praying at work when a name came to her mind. The name was of an elderly woman at her church. Our friend felt as if God was telling her to pray that this woman would pay for the insurance needed for her trip. Later that evening when the friend got home from work, her brother ran to the door to give her the good news that the woman had called earlier and felt that God was leading her to help financially with the exact amount required for the insurance. The entire need was taken care of. She prayed a very specific prayer, and God answered. *if the friend is reading this, please feel free to correct any inaccuracies in your story.

You may doubt the validity of this story. My mind definitely goes there first. But I believe our friend - I've seen God do some amazing things in her life. Yet, why do some people see God in this way and others do not? I'm still gathering my thoughts on this subject. I hope to write more about it soon.

If you're reading this and you have a similar story (of your own or someone you know) please post a comment. I'd love to hear a few more.

faith. . .

2005-06-23T09:46:00.000-04:00

For almost 15 years now I've had a very basic understanding of faith - at least as Paul uses the word in Romans 5:1, "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ." I know that it is only through faith in Jesus, and not through our own efforts or actions, that we can be restored into a right relationship with God. I've read the scripture, heard teachings, and even given teachings on this type of faith.

But, what it does it mean to have specific faith for something - something completely independent of our right standing with God? I've heard people make bold claims that they have faith in God for a very specific thing. They may say, "I am believing God for the healing of my grandmother" or "I have faith that God will provide the exact amount of money we need right now." I still have much to learn about this sort of faith. Jesus told his disciples that their faith could move mountains, and that ". . . if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer." But, what does God's eternal plan have to do with my personal belief?

It's not that I doubt God's capabilities. In fact, I've seen Him do small miracles when I was least expecting it. His omnipotence is not an issue for me. My question arises more along the lines of His desire. It's much easier for me to say, "I believe God can heal my grandmother" rather than "I believe God will heal my grandmother." The difference between these two statements is colossal. At what point can we claim that we have faith not only in God's capabilities, but also in our understanding of His desires. As we grow closer and closer to the heart of God and the "deep things of God" we gain a better understanding of His will. We can learn more of His ways and understand more of His heart for us, but do we ever get so close that we know His next move?

What does it mean to have a faith goal - to ask for something enormous and expect that God will provide? What a vulnerable place to be. What if you expect it with all of your heart and He chooses not to provide it? How safe should we allow ourselves to be with God? Praying to God in faith is certainly not a formula for receiving what we want. Ultimately, we must somehow pray for what God wants.

"A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured of his leprosy." Matthew 8:2-3

The rabbit never saw it coming. . .

2005-06-21T17:07:00.000-04:00

innocent bunny

My wife hit a poor, defenseless rabbit (I think it may have been a baby) this weekend. We were driving home from her parents in the middle of a deep conversation when I saw the little guy dart out into the road. There were no squealing tires or swerving, just a quick and distinct "thump-thump". I looked up from the road at Lindsay expecting her to be a wreck of emotion at the thought of ending the life of a small, cute animal. Not only was she unrepentant, but she told me that ". . . there are too many of those little animals running around. We should kill them more often." After only 1 year of marriage, I am still getting to know my wife. I love her more and more as the days go by.

Disc Golf is life. . .

2005-06-20T16:47:00.000-04:00

hole 6 at Carter Park

Bowling Green's disc golf course is right outside the back door of my apartment. In fact, my balcony overlooks a portion of the course (except for the large tree blocking most of the view). With my sliding door open I can periodically hear the sound of a disc hitting the chains signifying a hole completed for some happy (or unhappy) disc-golfer. Sometimes a yell of excitement or a bellow of disappointment follows immediately after the sound of the chains - depending on whether the golfer's disc hit the chains and then rested in the basket or hit the chains and fumbled out of the basket.

I truly love this game. I used to love it simply for the fun times I had with friends while walking the course and enjoying the fresh air and sunshine. I still love those things, but now I also enjoy going out by myself. I used to avoid playing solo-thinking it to be a waste of my time, but now I draw refreshment from these times out alone. My mind rarely thinks about anything else while I am on the course. I'm usually keeping track of my score in my head and planning the strategy of my next throw. I enjoy the break from having to think about anything significant. Everyone should consider finding an activity that allows this to happen.

Today was a little different, though. I shot a 6 under par for the front 9 holes (not a bad score, but certainly no record for me). My drives were fine, but I missed several close shots. I discovered that I become very timid when I'm throwing the disc from a range just outside of my comfort level. My chip shots come up short almost 100% of the time. I made the decision to go for every shot within my range. I promised myself I would not miss short of the basket - I would only miss long if I missed at all. This change in strategy did wonders for the back 9 holes. I made some extremely difficult shots and ended up with a score of minus 10 (on the back 9, it is tougher to shoot under par). For the first time ever, I thought about the parallels of disc golf and life. How often am I close to the goal but still outside of my comfort level? Do I allow myself to come up short - simply "laying it up" rather than going for the prize? I think my timidity in disc golf is similar to my timidity in life. Maybe I'll change my strategy. Maybe I'll be more aggressive - having confidence in my ability (and the gifts God has given me) and being more bold about the shots I take.

My first post ever. . .

2005-06-20T12:56:00.000-04:00

I have no idea who would ever read this blog - a few close friends I suppose, but my own mother doesn't even know how to access the Internet. No matter who you are, you should know something about me: I'm the sort of guy who makes up his mind to start a blog but waits several days to write his first entry. My personality worries about this first one. It just feels like it should be a good one - perhaps life-changing or profoundly deep. I had to force myself to get online today and type something in. So I'm hoping that now the pressure will be off. My hope is to provide myself with a canvas for compiling my thoughts. After 28 years, I've noticed that life can go by so fast. I may read many different ideas and talk with many people, but if I don't compile my thoughts, they seem to get lost. I hope for this blog to be just one forum for me to do that compiling. Of course it only works if I use it, so here's my first attempt.

And, just as my day is filled with interaction, I welcome any comments, questions, and feedback from anyone who would happen to read something here.